10 December, 2006

Trackbacks, Apologies, and Talking to Daran

Posted in Abbott and Costello, Alas a Blog, Apologies and Peace Offerings, Flame Wars, Jake Squid, Marcella Chester, ms_xeno, Radfem at 5:10 am by Daran

Marcella feels Publicly attacked by me:

Nobody checked to see if Daran’s missing trackback got caught in the spam filter or the like and simply assumed that his impression that he had been deliberately censored was correct. It was just assumed that I am one of those nasty feminists who … you can fill in the blank from what people have written.

I had already spoken with Amp about the trackbacks, and he had assured me that neither he, nor you had deliberately deleted the trackbacks. I am familiar with WordPress’s ability to randomly delete things outright, as well as the spam-fairy’s depredations, so I happily withdraw the allegation and apologise for assuming that they had been deleted intentionally.

What I can’t do, is address what other people may have assumed or written about you or anyone else. I can say that I never thought you were a nasty feminist, and no, I can’t fill in the blanks. What may be obvious to you could be invisible to me, and vice versa.

If I have said anything you or anyone else feels is unfair, then you need to talk to me about it. That goes for ms_xeno, Radfem, and the others who were involved. I don’t think of them as nasty feminists either. I have been scathingly critical of what they did, but I have not attacked them for who they are.

At least I don’t think I have. But I’m not perfect, so if I’m mistaken or if I’ve treated anyone unfairly, tell me what I’ve said that was unfair. I don’t promise to agree with you, but I’m willing to talk about it.

To talk to me, you need to post in a place where I will see it – either here or CD. If you do not feel safe in either of these places, post where you do feel safe, link here, then check that the trackback has shown up.

Let’s talk.

Edited to add: This thread is limited to those who want to talk to me about something. It is not for generalised comment about what happened and certainly not for attacking or criticising the participants other than me.



  1. Tom Nolan said,


    If you’re right about Richard Jeffrey Newman wanting to engage with you and Toy Soldier as fellow victims, perhaps another thread would be a good way to accommodate his wishes? I think it would be a pity if the “Rape Culture” thread should go too far off topic. As you know, it is rare for a radical feminist like Q Grrl to get a chance to set out her case, either on or off feminist sites, and I should hate to see her return to a thread become unrecognizable in her absence.

    Is there some way to email you?


  2. Daran & Tom:

    I have been trying to post comments unsuccessfully: Briefly, time constraints prevent me from commenting further. In the event this comment goes through, though, two things:

    1. Regarding the Tom’s suggestion that I get back on topic and talk about women’s fear, in the “Excellent Discussion” post: I think that he and you have focused exclusively on the act of rape and have (perhaps wilfully) chosen not to see the ways in which rape is part of a non-random and very deliberately constructed cultural complex of images, texts, imperatives, ideas and so on that impinge on women’s consciousness in a way far more pervasive than the acts of those men who actually commit rape. This, I think, is where Q Grrl was trying to go. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to develop it further.

    2. Daran: You can check out the comments section of Toy Soldiers’ post on a non-feminist approach to male survivors for a continuing discussion on some of the issues you raised about my post on Alas.

  3. Daran said,

    I agree with Tom. Give me a moment to create a thread, and move the substantive comments to it.

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